she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
