Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
