Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
