I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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