you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You're so nebulous sometimes
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
