my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
