omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Do vagina's smell?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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