One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
