Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
