I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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