Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
only you would photoshop your dick
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
