I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
