apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She's the barista slut.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
