she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
