Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
