So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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