I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
