You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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