jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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