so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
