Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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