My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
