wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
