Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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