he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
