i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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