i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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