well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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