I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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