Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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