omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
