You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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