In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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