She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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