only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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