He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
