return my video game
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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