I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
