JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you would pick up someone in the library
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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