So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
