The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
