I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
