Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
