There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I could make wine with my vomit
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
