I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Success! We fucked roommates!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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