i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Randomize
