I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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