ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
