Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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