She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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