i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
