You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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