he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
