If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
