He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
