a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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